Friday, February 25, 2011

Just Finished

          Just Finished! Just finished exam today~ Just finished being scolded for telling the truth about how hard Physics exam yesterday. Just finished quarreling with Elle for keeping quiet. Just finished being slightly happy after seeing my Quran teacher. Just finished getting annoyed with Ien. Just finished from shopping with grandma. Just finished having headache thinking about the best thing that I could present someone. I don't want to do the bad movie thing : I'm the best gift for you. As if I'll ever know that!

          Right now, I'm listening to IU - The Story Only I Didn't Know.

           I'm thinking of composing a story for the "Teacher's Day Children Story Writing" competition. But the due date is 1st March. Great, it's soo far away that I can relax... Yeah, right! I have to get started now. But how can I if I'm typing for this blog right now?
         Tazia didn't know that I have a blog until yesterday. Its's not surprising since I have no followers yet. Haha, it's  so stupid to laugh since it sounded sad. And I can't say that it's not even when it really is not... I'm in the school magazine team now so i'm pretty busy with school stuff. Actually, not yet. But going to be since the loads of work will start on march.

          Oh, G.NA Black and White won the 1st place for today Music Bank. Too bad I don't have Animax or MTV. At least I could listen to Japanese songs too. I'm suppose to have this learning trip to Segi College and KDU in Penang tomorrow but it seems that it was postponed to some other time, who knows when. I just hope that it's not 2/4 coz I have planned that that day, my club members will be going to the Old Folks Home in Taiping. And I really want it to be successful since I'm club president. And I was the one planning it all.

          I brought some chocolates for Sasha today since she loves chocolates. But silly me, I forgot she went to Cambodia for the weekend. Weekends! What a holiday. I wish I could afford that kind of holiday trip. I am jealous. But not to the point of envy. Sasha went to India a couple of times too. Elle must be jealous of her. I know he wishes to go there too though I have no idea why.

          By the way, I met an Indian boy last year. Sharpener, that'll be his name. I wonder why his voice is so deep that I keep on remembering him. And yeah, Elle remind me of him. Elle had this dark feature like him except that Elle is cold and have a smooth face while Sharpener is friendly and with freckles. The thing is, I've been remembering him from time to time. Almost like Joo Won, his voice. But action, no way! Joo Won was more aggressive. Of course, I don't think I like him or anything like that. it's just that it's bugging me the fact that I see him in Elle. And I see Elle everyday! And Eli, you know him? No, you don't. He's a character I made in a story. The truth is, I made the Eli character based on Sharpener. But his name came from Elle's name. Huhu, I should stay away from Sharpener but he's my mom's student and coincidently, I see him everythime I went to my mom's school.

          I hope this feeling will also be gone, over with. End. Fin. Finish. But not just finish, yet.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

My Ideal Home

Try it out~

It's an essay I wrote for exam.
Well, the one I typed here were the original. I left the mistakes, the grammar error and etc there. It already marked but I wanted to leave it that way.

Mother's Birthday

           Well, today is my mom's birthday~ (and my cute pet fox death anniversary) But we celebrate it yesterday since dad went back to work much too early in the morning and won't be back until maybe June or the later~ So we celebrate her birthday, big deal?


          The thing is, it was so hard to choose a cake. And how to actually plan anything since my mom, my mom, my mom... Oh mother, how come you have too many dislike and so few likes? We had a really hard time since well, if my mother were to like yam last year, then this year she wouldn't like it anymore. Her like changes from time to time. She had not many favourites in anything but too much of dislike in everything.

          When we were choosing cake, we kinda' give up and thought that ok, let's buy one that everyone likes. Here's another problem. No one likes the same thing. Dad like cakes with nuts which we all don't. Grandmother likes yam and corn, types that we eat because we had to not because we want to. Tazia wanted ice-cream cake, which grandmother don't like or chocolate cake, which I hate. And I prefer the one with coffee flavour, but Tazia hate it so so much. We ask Ien but the typical most annoying indecisive Ien came up with, "Oh, I don't know~ Everything looks delicious. If only we can buy it all................".

          We end up with chocolate cake~ Yeah, who cares if I'm the only one who dislike it since I'm the type that will still eat the food that I don't like. Haixxx~ So we went home getting it all set.

We haven't had a birthday celebration for such a long time, actually. And since it's rare to have someone other than Ien and me at home, we decided to do it just like the times when we're children. But, it's too embarrassing to sing, dance and etc let alone the few more hours to practice. So, we bought eye mask and wore them like masquerade ball. Hoho, it was funny but pretty awesome~ I mean it. And I played classical musics for the background.

          And then we did the usual, taking pictures, there's hugging here and there~

Then I went back to my room, to study Physics and Additional Mathematics.. I had an exam the next day.
[I probably gonna fail my Physic and do this "Safe, I barely passed" for Add Maths considering how hard the exam was today and how "relax" I did it]


By the way, I found my last year's essay. I think I'm gonna post it at the Short Stories section.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Exams

          Have you ever heard of exam stress? Yeah, of course you do if you're staying n school. Well, I have to listen to speeches on this topic ever time there's an exam coming up. Duh, they don't want students to be in stress, obviously. However, though I never really care since I never experience it, I'm starting to care now.

          I have a problem with stress, examination stress. Do you think I'll say that? I got Elle and Fritz and LaRich and Dev with me. How can I ever had those stress. [By the way, Elle still ain't talking]. The thing is, I'm worried by the fact that I don't have any stress at all. And now, I'm depressed by the fact that I never experience exam stress. It's stupid and stupid and all the more stupid, says Fritz. I feel like smacking him but it's true. I should be glad, I think. Yet I'm not.

Reasons :
  • I think I'm not serious with my studies.
  • I'm pitying those who actually have the stress yet they don't score very well [I felt super mean]
  • I don't feel like getting near any books (except novels) when exam gets nearer.
  • And truth is, I want to feel like I'm seriously worried with my inconsistent mark
  • I'm not the best student
  • I'm not particularly good in most subject except Maths
  • I'm just an average student (with no failed subject so far however not one excellence too)
          I guess there's more but not that I can remember everything. Huhu~ Elle was suppose to lullaby me yesterday but he ran off and left with Fritz annoying songs. Luckily, I managed to get some sleep although it wasn't dreamless or peaceful. I miss the Elle that can speak. What happen to that Elle?

          Back to the exams again. My Elle/Eli friend was having it hard on our history paper today too. And guess what? All I thought was, "I want to show her the 3rd poem I did for Joo Won". When she's worried about the hard questions on the paper. It's not that I think the paper was easy, it was hard for me too, but I can't help but trying to show it to her. In the end I did not. I felt like if I ever did do it, she'll give me this surprise look and said, "We're in the middle of exam and that's all you could think of?" I don't want her to think that I'm too lazy or too smart. Simply because I'm not.

          That's all about my exam problems. I don't think it have anything to do with exams now T.T ~
By the way, I decided to set up a new page for poems and short stories ^^ .

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Another composition

 I wrote a short story of a modernize Alice. It was somewhat weird, Sasha told me. My Elle/Eli friend told me that it was a good, twisted and interesting version. I was planning on putting them on the school magazine and they told me that I should.

          But somehow, I fell that I shouldn't. The look they gave me were like : It's interesting, but we're not sure if it's appropriate for the magazine, Not sure if the school would understand such different views, and etc.

          I was really looking forward to it, you know? But I'm not too sure now. However, there's a thing called trying, right? Once I asked Elle about it, but it seems that these days he's been giving me silent treatment. He look at me as if saying, "If you think you want to do it, then do it. If not, then don't". Sure, that helps. Thanks a lot Elle. I wanted to ask Fritz but I'm too embarrassed to even let him read it. Well, to sum it all, only 4 human beings have read my story, not including Elle but my other unmentioned classmate and Ien.

         I also tried to write a Haiku. But until now, I haven't get the comment from 'the expert' which is Sasha's dad. I wonder if it's too boring or bad that Sasha didn't want to tell me of it. Maybe she said she forgot to ask because it was sooo bad and she didn't want to break my heart for telling me so. Oh my fragile, fragile heart, if it was brittle, I'll be gone long long ago. Sasha should have just told me the truth, I would be sad for a while. But it'll only take a while anyway,... as if I'll let it drag on to me forever. She should know that much by now. But I don't blame her. Elle and Fritz told me that I've been keeping a lot of secrets and never tell anyone the whole truth. No lies, but not the truth either.

          School had kept me busy these few weeks. I'm going to try out for Badminton, since I've missed softball. Of course, I would prefer essay competition or chess but I'm not sure if there's any competition for that this year. The government had reduced the amount of money to be supplied for education so since last year, no competition was held. It saddens me but there's nothing much I can do since letters and complaint aren't being heard. I'm still hoping for chess competition though. I want to play Elle/Eli girl ever since I heard she was good in it last month. But we never had the chance. I want to see who's better. It's personal really. I'm not in the chess club so off the record, I'm the best in the school right now ^^~. That's not really bragging, I'm only telling. Grr, I wish LaRich and Dev could stop chuckling right now. Fritz is giving me this big smile as if I'm lying. Ah, and yet again, Elle is keeping quiet. What's bothering him, I wonder.

          I guess I should try and find out someday of Elle's unusual behaviour. It's really too odd but I can't really ask anyone since Fritz hates Elle and wouldn't care while LaRich and Dev would never dare to tell. The human beings wouldn't be able to know, of course since they don't even know that he existed. Thus, the only way is to confront him myself.

Once I'm free from the loads of work.
I even have to study for exam next week. Elle, faster come to your senses! WHo would help me study if you keep on doing this?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Secret Garden

          I'm into this drama lately. It was recommended by may new friend whose name resembles Elle and Eli. It's a funny, romantic, yet tense (not quite sure if this is right) drama. But I'm in love wit it from the first chapter itself. The storyline is interesting.


Synopsis

The drama tells the story of Kim Joo Won (Hyun Bin), an arrogant and eccentric CEO who maintains the image of seeming perfection, and Gil Ra Im (Ha Ji Won), a poor and humble stuntwoman whose beauty and body are the object of envy amongst top actresses. Their accidental meeting, when Joo Won mistakes Ra Im for actress Park Chae Rin, marks the beginning of a tense, bickering relationship, through which Joo Won tries to hide a growing attraction to Ra Im that both confuses and disturbs him. To complicate matters further, a strange sequence of events results in them swapping bodies.


source: http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Secret_Garden


          I love the guy, Kim Joo Won character the most. Hyun Bin is very very very good acting that character. How do I put it? Joo Won is the meanest man yet aggressive and romantic. I don't mean aggressive in a way that he'll kick punch etc, but his persistence pestering and constant flirting with the girl. But though all his action are very very very heart throbbing a.k.a romantic, he's words are like knife stabbing you and worse, hold your tongue. There's nothing we can argue about it, 'cause he's right. But the fact that he is, is what makes him so mean. Yet, while hating him to, I can't seem to avert my eyes, we just can't push him away. Although painful, we would want him to still be there, even if he probably don't love us, and don't care a thing about how we feel, or worse, just toying with our feelings.

I guess I love that character the most. The girl was good too. But maybe as another girl, I can't bring myself to compliment her since I've used up my emotion for the guy. Huhu~ Does that make sense?

I also love the other character in the drama. Well, not Joo Won's mother, yet. I'm at the 18th episode and I still don't find anything to like about his mother. But tthe story in some part, like when they went to Jeju Island is creepy. I mean, it felt so... (sorry, my vocab not that good so I could only use this word) creepy when they enter the forest(the shop-old lady-flower wine-chickens). It gives me goosebumps.

Well, in other words, I truly recommend this story to be a must watch!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Remind me of Elle

There's a new girl in class whose name is similar to my secretary, Elle.
I like the new girl very very much. B4 you start thinking annoying stuff, I'm a girl who thinks of her only as friend.

She had so many similarities with me...

Like : our parents occupation, she's living in the house i lived before, she had an annoying sister, she loves K-Drama... ok, that's different. I love J-Drama and J-pop... though i like K-drama and hits too. Some of them. She was the opposite of it. We play chess, alone. We play badminton without anyone teaching us. What we did at home are the same too. And our thinking are alike... in most cases~

Is that coincidence or what?

Form 4 Biology Folio - POLLUTION

Folio Biologi Tingkatan 4 Pollution

Definition of Alice in Wonderland syndrome

Alice in Wonderland syndrome: A syndrome of distorted space, time and body image. The patient with the Alice in Wonderland syndrome has a feeling that their entire body or parts of it have been altered in shape and size. The syndrome is usually associated with visual hallucinations. The majority of patients with the syndrome have a family history of migraine headache or have overt migraine themselves.
The syndrome was first described in 1955 by the English psychiatrist John Todd (1914-1987). Todd named it, of course, for Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. Perhaps not coincidentally, Lewis Carroll suffered from severe migraine. Also known as a Lilliputian hallucination.
source : http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=24174


Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AIWS or AWS) describes a set of symptoms, the most famous of which are:
  • Alteration of body image: the sizes of parts of the body are perceived incorrectly.
  • Alteration of visual perception: the sizes of external objects are perceived incorrectly.
Most reports are about children experiencing AIWS symptoms, though many people experience it in later life. Many people say they had AIWS symptoms as a child, but 'grew out' of them around their teens.
The most common time to experience AIWS symptoms is at night.
The most prominent and often most disturbing symptom is that of altered body image: the sufferer will find that they are confused as to the size and shape of parts of (or all of) their body. The parts usually mentioned are the head and hands; growth seems more usual than shrinkage. This phenomenon seems to have the medical term 'metamorphosis'.
The second major symptom is the distortion of visual perception. The eyes themselves are normal, but the sufferer 'sees' objects with the wrong size or shape and/or finds that perspective is incorrect. This can mean that people, cars, buildings, etc. look smaller or larger than they should be, or that distances look incorrect; for example a corridor may appear to be very long, or the ground may appear too close.
Other symptoms which have been referred to as part of AIWS include:
  • Distorted time perception; time moving quickly or slowly.
  • Distorted touch perception, e.g. a feeling that the ground is 'spongy' under the feet or that the sensation received from touching something is simply incorrect or unrecognised.
  • Distorted sound perception.

source : http://www.aiws.info/




so maybe i don't have it~ i hope not.


Alice in WonderLand

Don't know whether this is truth or made up:
watch a movie which says that there's this syndrome called the Alice Syndrome.
It's where one tends to mix reality with fables.
If it exists, then I'm pretty much sure for about 99% (need the other 1% from doctor) that I have this syndrome.
I think my life is pretty much a fable. No, truth is that I know it's not. But I keep getting this image~ It's as if I don't live in reality although I know I live in one. How do you describe it. It's like everyday, I wake up to go to school, I was awaken by my alarm clock. I know I set it. But every morning, when i open my eyes, there's a butler greets me "good morning, young miss" and he'll ask what i want to eat~
Though I make my own breakfast, when I ate them, I could here maids whispering, observing my expression to know whether the food is good or bad. Then when I went out on my bicycle, I know I saw my tutor riding a horse right next to me, telling me to handle my horse properly. That I must take care of the horse, don't be too harsh on it. And careful not to fall from it. And all the sudden I am riding a horse in this vast green land. While I'm doing homework, my eyes would see pile and piles of document to sign, to read, to comment on... The literature art of papers, i could see them all in my maths book. Although I'm listening to rock music,.. i could hear faint sound of ballad and jazz.
Sometimes the 3 pot flowers at my house appears like a garden of daisies, roses, and well a garden. A proper super big garden that you can only attend if you have enough gardeners. And yes, I don't have a gardener. Yet I could hear few gardeners greets me when i water the plants. They'll be saying things like "Taking a walk, young miss?", "The flowers are blooming well...." or "You look great, young miss".

There's more to it. Even as I'm typing this, I'm at a home office working on a new project for business. And when I look up to take a breath, my office is at the shore where I can smell the scent of waves, see the seagulls flying low towards the sea.

So what is this? Hallucination? Maybe I need a doctor. Maybe not. After all, it affects my life only like this. But what if there's more to it?

I'm at lost.