Small Surprise

My baby cousin, Dan told me “Auntie, don’t give up”. Then he chant it repeatedly, playing I’m not sure what. I don’t know which cartoon he watched, but that took me by surprise.

Even a kid gave me life hints. Or was I hearing things?

A dream to End

I’ve been dreaming of death.

I’ve always been dreaming about it actually. I dreamt of my grandparents’ death, which was a nightmare until my late grandfather actually died. When I found out that those nightmares didn’t came true, just that death is inevitable, the dreams became just unpleasant visits. I’ve also been dreaming about the death of my own parents, my siblings, and my friends. These people are those that I do care about, so it’s disturbing to see them die one night, and seeing them alive the next.

The Freezing

I have shut down my own curiosity. I have chewed on it, and gulp it down.

My cousin-in-law came in the darkness of the night. I wasn’t well and didn’t realize she came. I was in my room trying to fight off the hallucination that haunted my sleepless nights. When morning came, I decided I should just fight off the drowsiness and show my disoriented morning face to my so-called family.

What I found staring at me however, was a guest.

"Through This Life" Goal

Lately I’ve been recalling lots of old memories.

When I was a child, my teenage brother used to tell me that every being must have an “I want to live without ---” goal as they live through their life. He told me he wanted as best as possible to live without regrets.

I told him, with every childish certainty and confidence that there will always be regret, either you will it or not. So I told him that not having regrets will not be my goal but I shall choose my own regret. Since his teenage intelligence insist that every human must have that goal, I declared mine to be to live without debt.