Crack

I don't know.

     I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't. Maybe I can list my problems, maybe I talked about it, maybe it's already solved, yet something is tugging that heart of mine, and deaf-ly nagging my mind. I just don't understand what though.

I used to like a lot of things, I can't decide which I like best. Now I can't decide if I even like it. I want to go somewhere, yet when opportunity presents itself, I want to sleep. I want to write, but even at the peak of my want, I went depressingly to bed.

I ate some real good stuff, but I don't enjoy it. I can't say I hate it. It's not like it's bad. I miss some of my friends, yet I don't want to see them.

Even this post is forced.

       I've been telling myself to post all the exciting stuff that had been happening earlier this year yet all I did was stare at the screen and postpone everything until I finally exploded yesterday.

No, I don't throw tantrums, I don't scream or throw all my stuff. I just had this explosion in my head and decided that I will ignore myself and just do it.

Was that what I should have been doing all this time? Crack? I'm not that happy with this choice though.

Maybe I really do need help. Psychiatrist consultation is expensive....
Maybe some other time.