Sanctuary from the Wretched

Have you ever loath a place, only to find out how much you miss it? I don't mean a change of heart, or a realization.
I mean how something can be both loathsome and comfortable.

Maybe I'm mad. Maybe I'm sick at heart.

But there's a place that I long to go, but I will never be able to return to.
There's also a place that I hate to return to. I hate it to the point that it gave me migraine just by the thought of it but it's also the one place I will return to or think about when all other bad things happen.

-sigh-

So my fever.. have lasted for a week. How utterly disturbing.
I'm so sad I can't even cry about it.
I have more energy today though. Not today, I mean now.

A 'What' in December

December. Like many others who thinks, this is the month where you collect the pieces of the months before, and reflect.

What have I done?
Why did I do it?
Have I done well?
Have I done enough?
What can I do now?

Since May however, the only question I asked myself was "What am I doing?". That's still the question now.

The Meaning of the Blocks of Papers

Books.
Wondrous, lovely, tempting, treacherous little things.
For me it is. For me they are.

I started reading at the age of 4. I learned my alphabets fast. For a slow learner, that I picked up at a really weird pace. Quite alarming, if you think about it. For at that time, my peers, neighbours, family, siblings and friends, were picking up stones and blocks and play shooting games, or play castles -prince, princesses, dinosaurs, fishing, tiger, cat, dog, mermaid etc or simply swing and slide in the playground.

Me?

Let's go back in history.