In the slump?

Have you ever felt not doing anything?

It’s not exactly laziness. I mean, I’ve been lazy before. But that’s a feeling of not WANTing to do things.

This is different. I want to do things. I want to do fun things. But I’m not doing it. And not doing it makes me sad. Doing it makes me sad. I don’t understand, thus I don’t dare to do anything. At that moment, anything, no everything is so wrong I wished I can’t feel the wrongness of it.

It kills me. I can feel that I’m shattering everything. Yet the one who understand the most is supposed to be me. Yet still I’m the one who cannot understand why this is happening.

It’s like poison. It seeps in, draining all the life out of me. I don’t know what it is. I can’t identify it.

I’m in tears for no reason, and I’m ashamed that I’ve been broken by something that might not even exist, and I felt even worse that I .. I don’t know.

I just wish I know why.