WAaaah ~~~~~
I might just run out of word T^T
To move forward in this cycle of life. See the tiny details in life. Mourn. Groan. Giggle. Laugh. Smile. Strive!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Atashinchi no Danshi
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| Atashinchi no Danshi |
- Title: アタシんちの男子
- Title (romaji): Atashinchi no Danshi
- Also known as: My Boys, The Men of My House
- Tagline: 家族以上、恋人未満!? / Kazoku Ijo, Koibito Miman!?
- Tagline (English): More Than Family But Less Than Lovers
- Format: Renzoku
- Genre: Comedy
- Episodes: 11
- Viewership rating: 10.8 (Kanto)
- Broadcast network: Fuji TV
- Broadcast period: 2009-Apr-14 to 2009-Jun-23
- Air time: Tuesday 21:00
- Theme song: Infinity by GIRL NEXT DOOR
Synopsis
These days, the term "homeless" has taken on new meaning. There are youths referred to as "net cafe refugees," who have neither a job nor a place to live, but who find themselves hopping around internet cafes. One such refugee is a 20-year-old girl named Chisato, who lost her mother at a young age due to sickness. She spent her youth trying to escape from the huge debt her father left her, and her battle with the repossessors unfolded every night. However, her life changed after meeting one man named Shinzo, changing her views on the meaning of "family." Shinzo comes from a rich family tracing back to the Edo period, and he adopted six good-looking sons with the hope of one becoming his successor, but all of them have strange personalities. Shinzo promises to free Chisato from her debt if she marries him and becomes the mother of his sons. However, a life with these six guys under one roof will not go smoothly... --TokyographMy own view on the story:
First of all, I'm in love with Sho^^!!!!!!!! Heh.heh. Well, althought some of the vids are obvious lie, i.e. Satoru's magic, the whole story is super interesting. A family unlike any other.A father who actually love his adopted sons but doesn't know how to really expressed it. Thus he played the villain role in his sons life. When he have only one month left to live, he's regretful that all his sons hated each other and himself, and they only care about his money. So he went and find his long lost daughter, cheating her into fake marriage with him and made her unite all his sons so that they understood the meaning of being a family.
For me, there's more to this drama, but not that I could find words to describe it~
A drama worth your time^^ Watch it!
Tiresome Worries
Have been feeling rather restless these past few days....
It's been two days already since Huninis not talking to me. Well, it's not like I bothered much about it. Huninis was always, inconsiderately and immaturely moody. Gah! That person could coil up herself in her room for the whole month or year for all I care.
And my life goes on.
Elle had been a real help. He's explaining things to me now. Well, I just hated that he's nagging bout my studies. Even the always-a-yes Fritz who's been on my side since ever started to nag about studies. I just don't feel like it.... Haixx.... it's not that I don't realize it's importance. But really, I can't seem to find a reason as to why I need to. No, I know I need to. But later on, what am I pursuing? I really have no idea.
Let's say that LaRich prediction that I get excellent result due to 'my hardwork' [which aren't really true] really come true, then what's next? University? Even if I said I'll go with the flow and applied one, I don't really have any particular course I wanted to take. I don't really like the idea of being a dull adult who works for the sake of working like an adult and for money. I actually dreamt of being a passionate adult who really strive to do the best with my carreer choice. But really, what's my choice? Nothing seems to really motivates me. Maybe I was born dull. Huhu.
Elle too, got angry at times when I refused to study. Well, that's my bad. He only tried to do the right thing. Fritz on the other hand was being carefull? I wonder if his act is what people called careful... Well, he's been treating me awfully nice but not in his usual disgusting manner. He was being such a gentleman. Heh.heh.. Just when I'm very pleased and supper happy, he'll start looking at me trying to give the best smile he could and "maybe you would like to study now?". Well, I wasn't down just cause' he said that of course. The fact that he tried is visible. Hohoho.. But you see, Fritz is still Fritz no matter how much he change. I just can't help but dissapoint him with a 'no'.
But still, Dev and Elle was right. I really need to start focusing right now. I'm not a genius who could score without much effort. Nor do I have a reliable memory. I need to start focusing on the big exam which is like 6 months away. Huuuuh~
It's been two days already since Huninis not talking to me. Well, it's not like I bothered much about it. Huninis was always, inconsiderately and immaturely moody. Gah! That person could coil up herself in her room for the whole month or year for all I care.
And my life goes on.
Elle had been a real help. He's explaining things to me now. Well, I just hated that he's nagging bout my studies. Even the always-a-yes Fritz who's been on my side since ever started to nag about studies. I just don't feel like it.... Haixx.... it's not that I don't realize it's importance. But really, I can't seem to find a reason as to why I need to. No, I know I need to. But later on, what am I pursuing? I really have no idea.
Let's say that LaRich prediction that I get excellent result due to 'my hardwork' [which aren't really true] really come true, then what's next? University? Even if I said I'll go with the flow and applied one, I don't really have any particular course I wanted to take. I don't really like the idea of being a dull adult who works for the sake of working like an adult and for money. I actually dreamt of being a passionate adult who really strive to do the best with my carreer choice. But really, what's my choice? Nothing seems to really motivates me. Maybe I was born dull. Huhu.
Elle too, got angry at times when I refused to study. Well, that's my bad. He only tried to do the right thing. Fritz on the other hand was being carefull? I wonder if his act is what people called careful... Well, he's been treating me awfully nice but not in his usual disgusting manner. He was being such a gentleman. Heh.heh.. Just when I'm very pleased and supper happy, he'll start looking at me trying to give the best smile he could and "maybe you would like to study now?". Well, I wasn't down just cause' he said that of course. The fact that he tried is visible. Hohoho.. But you see, Fritz is still Fritz no matter how much he change. I just can't help but dissapoint him with a 'no'.
But still, Dev and Elle was right. I really need to start focusing right now. I'm not a genius who could score without much effort. Nor do I have a reliable memory. I need to start focusing on the big exam which is like 6 months away. Huuuuh~
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Dear Grandfather....
My grandfather passed away on the 24th of April, around ten. We realized it at 10.30 something and his death was comfirmed at 11.00 p.m.
I didn't really know what to feel. My mom and grandmother was being strong as we have no man in the house to arrange for his funeral. So, my inexperience mom and grandmother was holding it and call our neighbours for help and was having it hard inside, I think. I was probably in that state where you would say blank? No, not really.. it's not like I lost consciousness or anything near to that. It's like I was just ----- and ok, what do we do now? So I helped my mom contact the relatives while tweeting and e-mail'ing' to all those I could to inform of grandfather death.
The thing is, I'm wondering why am I like this. I was so used to the word weird that I didn't care about being weird. That whole 'weird is unique' thing are just an excuse. Truth is, it's not that I am proud of being weird. I just didn't care. I didn't care to bother what others might though because it's too bothersome. That's why I used that phrase 'weird is unique' thing. Let me get this straight. I like being different. I'm proud that I'm different. But weird and different are two things not connected in this case.
Back to the main point. You see, two years ago, at my grandmother's (father's mother) funeral, I too didn't know what I felt. It's like at that point my mind was thinking whether to grieve at her death, at my dad's loss, or to act strong. But then again, 'act' is not really the right word. Acting means.. something like pretending, right? What the heck does pretending means then? Me, pretending to be strong? But I wasn't even in the verge of tears.
I love my grandparents, really, truthfully, honestly. Though I AM lazy, and don't always listen to them. But I never once thought they were such a pain to me. First, well, my grandparents are very sweet. And cute, and pretty. Especially the only one that's still living right now, my mother's mother. Well, but she's the only one who I probably don't agree with always. And she's the only fierce grandparent ever. But I don't remember ever arguing with her though. Simply because there's nothing to argue. I was wrong, she was ill... So if I ever do got a scolding, I would just force a smile instead of a sulk and tried to change topic. Or run away~ I meant, listen but never really listen. Well, you should get what I mean.
My late grandfather was very sick before he died. My grandmother and me were the one who nursed him all this time. Well, mom and Ien included. I might not be the one they love the most, but my late grandfather is the man I felt most indebted to after my dad. Do you know how much I love this long winded brain of mind and whatever style of thinking I have that might one day lead me to doom? Well, I still love it coz it's mine after all. Do you know that I start learning how to read complex book at an early age? Maybe not. Well, I gave all those thanks to my late grandfather who just passed away. Though my mom was the one (who thought she taught me how to read) who buy me all those books, the person who actually nurtured the reading interest in me was my grandfather. It was brief but when he told me the wonders of books, [get the picture here - an old wise man sitting on a couch telling a wise thing to young, very young child just like in the cartoons; doesn't it grind to your head the importance of this ceremony?] I was immediately into books.
I started of with classics~ Hehe... a 5 year old reading classical book~ Well, i might not understand the whole conversation but I get the story at the very least. Then I go for Aesop Fables. By the age of 8, I have graduated from Enid Blyton's children & teenagers novels^^. And I continued to read classics, now that I finally understand the language. And I move on to much mature reading. Though I don't fancy adult novels so much. Reason no. 1, I still have a child mind. I hate all those disgusting kisses and sex. But if it's not a love novel, I mean.. investigation, history etc., well, I could deal with a bit of romance in there~ But I love shoujo manga though. Not as much as shounen... Hehe
Well, I always always thought of my grandfather even when I'm in school. That's why I always assume that I love him very very very much ^^. But maybe, love doesn't work that way. Just because you like him, you think a lot about him, you felt so much gratitude for him, doesn't mean that you love him, eh? Because even as I see him at his death bed, I just looked away. I'm not sure if I look away because I couldn't bear it or something else. But even if it was the other option, what changes does it make? I don't know what the other option is. Is my heart that empty that I couldn't cry for a real being? I would get overly happy or upset over a fiction character. I could cry for the sorrow of a character. Or laugh like maniac at their joy. I even cried for Ace who wasn't even the main character of that manga.
But I couldn't even decide what to feel upon my grandfather's death.
Just what kind of creature am I? Heartless,... yeah, now that I think about it, Huninis said that too me before. I'm heartless eh? Or maybe I have given up on human. There's nothing to expect. I hate to ever agree with Huninis but maybe I am heartless.
I didn't really know what to feel. My mom and grandmother was being strong as we have no man in the house to arrange for his funeral. So, my inexperience mom and grandmother was holding it and call our neighbours for help and was having it hard inside, I think. I was probably in that state where you would say blank? No, not really.. it's not like I lost consciousness or anything near to that. It's like I was just ----- and ok, what do we do now? So I helped my mom contact the relatives while tweeting and e-mail'ing' to all those I could to inform of grandfather death.
The thing is, I'm wondering why am I like this. I was so used to the word weird that I didn't care about being weird. That whole 'weird is unique' thing are just an excuse. Truth is, it's not that I am proud of being weird. I just didn't care. I didn't care to bother what others might though because it's too bothersome. That's why I used that phrase 'weird is unique' thing. Let me get this straight. I like being different. I'm proud that I'm different. But weird and different are two things not connected in this case.
Back to the main point. You see, two years ago, at my grandmother's (father's mother) funeral, I too didn't know what I felt. It's like at that point my mind was thinking whether to grieve at her death, at my dad's loss, or to act strong. But then again, 'act' is not really the right word. Acting means.. something like pretending, right? What the heck does pretending means then? Me, pretending to be strong? But I wasn't even in the verge of tears.
I love my grandparents, really, truthfully, honestly. Though I AM lazy, and don't always listen to them. But I never once thought they were such a pain to me. First, well, my grandparents are very sweet. And cute, and pretty. Especially the only one that's still living right now, my mother's mother. Well, but she's the only one who I probably don't agree with always. And she's the only fierce grandparent ever. But I don't remember ever arguing with her though. Simply because there's nothing to argue. I was wrong, she was ill... So if I ever do got a scolding, I would just force a smile instead of a sulk and tried to change topic. Or run away~ I meant, listen but never really listen. Well, you should get what I mean.
My late grandfather was very sick before he died. My grandmother and me were the one who nursed him all this time. Well, mom and Ien included. I might not be the one they love the most, but my late grandfather is the man I felt most indebted to after my dad. Do you know how much I love this long winded brain of mind and whatever style of thinking I have that might one day lead me to doom? Well, I still love it coz it's mine after all. Do you know that I start learning how to read complex book at an early age? Maybe not. Well, I gave all those thanks to my late grandfather who just passed away. Though my mom was the one (who thought she taught me how to read) who buy me all those books, the person who actually nurtured the reading interest in me was my grandfather. It was brief but when he told me the wonders of books, [get the picture here - an old wise man sitting on a couch telling a wise thing to young, very young child just like in the cartoons; doesn't it grind to your head the importance of this ceremony?] I was immediately into books.
I started of with classics~ Hehe... a 5 year old reading classical book~ Well, i might not understand the whole conversation but I get the story at the very least. Then I go for Aesop Fables. By the age of 8, I have graduated from Enid Blyton's children & teenagers novels^^. And I continued to read classics, now that I finally understand the language. And I move on to much mature reading. Though I don't fancy adult novels so much. Reason no. 1, I still have a child mind. I hate all those disgusting kisses and sex. But if it's not a love novel, I mean.. investigation, history etc., well, I could deal with a bit of romance in there~ But I love shoujo manga though. Not as much as shounen... Hehe
Well, I always always thought of my grandfather even when I'm in school. That's why I always assume that I love him very very very much ^^. But maybe, love doesn't work that way. Just because you like him, you think a lot about him, you felt so much gratitude for him, doesn't mean that you love him, eh? Because even as I see him at his death bed, I just looked away. I'm not sure if I look away because I couldn't bear it or something else. But even if it was the other option, what changes does it make? I don't know what the other option is. Is my heart that empty that I couldn't cry for a real being? I would get overly happy or upset over a fiction character. I could cry for the sorrow of a character. Or laugh like maniac at their joy. I even cried for Ace who wasn't even the main character of that manga.
But I couldn't even decide what to feel upon my grandfather's death.
Just what kind of creature am I? Heartless,... yeah, now that I think about it, Huninis said that too me before. I'm heartless eh? Or maybe I have given up on human. There's nothing to expect. I hate to ever agree with Huninis but maybe I am heartless.
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