Tiresome Worries

Have been feeling rather restless these past few days....

          It's been two days already since Huninis not talking to me. Well, it's not like I bothered much about it. Huninis was always, inconsiderately and immaturely moody. Gah! That person could coil up herself in her room for the whole month or year for all I care.

And my life goes on.

          Elle had been a real help. He's explaining things to me now. Well, I just hated that he's nagging bout my studies. Even the always-a-yes Fritz who's been on my side since ever started to nag about studies. I just don't feel like it.... Haixx.... it's not that I don't realize it's importance. But really, I can't seem to find a reason as to why I need to. No, I know I need to. But later on, what am I pursuing? I really have no idea.

Let's say that LaRich prediction that I get excellent result due to 'my hardwork' [which aren't really true] really come true, then what's next? University? Even if I said I'll go with the flow and applied one, I don't really have any particular course I wanted to take. I don't really like the idea of being a dull adult who works for the sake of working like an adult and for money. I actually dreamt of being a passionate adult who really strive to do the best with my carreer choice. But really, what's my choice? Nothing seems to really motivates me. Maybe I was born dull. Huhu.

          Elle too, got angry at times when I refused to study. Well, that's my bad. He only tried to do the right thing. Fritz on the other hand was being carefull? I wonder if his act is what people called careful... Well, he's been treating me awfully nice but not in his usual disgusting manner. He was being such a gentleman. Heh.heh.. Just when I'm very pleased and supper happy, he'll start looking at me trying to give the best smile he could and "maybe you would like to study now?". Well, I wasn't down just cause' he said that of course. The fact that he tried is visible. Hohoho.. But you see, Fritz is still Fritz no matter how much he change. I just can't help but dissapoint him with a 'no'.

           But still, Dev and Elle was right. I really need to start focusing right now. I'm not a genius who could score without much effort. Nor do I have a reliable memory. I need to start focusing on the big exam which is like 6 months away. Huuuuh~