After Happy

I guess I wasn't truthful when I said I slept well these days. I can sleep well, that's true enough. I don't want to.

I've been feeling quite happy lately. It's a nice feeling. It's addictive. I never want it to end. And I fear sleeping would end it. What if the next day will not be as nice?


The dread I feel makes me unable to close my eyes and fall into dreamland. I kept keeping myself busy with random things just so I don't have to sleep. I know it's detrimental in the long run. Heck, even in the short run but I can't seem to stop.

It's better to feel at peace than happy. That's the lesson I've learnt late last year. Being at peace is.. well, peaceful. It gives you a sense of belonging, it gives you enough energy to go, and enough inner will to let go.

I know that, I acknowledge that.

Yet my few days of happiness overpowered, and I just want it to continue. I'm scared it's not peace that I find after this dosage of happiness ends.

I wish it'd be peace. I wish.