Saturday, November 15, 2014

The Fear

My roommate said, "Most girl, or very often, a woman will match herself to her husband's preference and lifestyle."

I didn't have much to contribute to her notion. I am not married. Yet. Oh bother, just not.

Oh before that, here's some hint to what this post is really about:
“His absence seemed a solid thing, a burden I must carry in addition to my grief... Yet I knew I would continue to live. Sometimes that knowledge seemed the worst part of my loss.” —Robin Hobb


I don't know.

     I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't. Maybe I can list my problems, maybe I talked about it, maybe it's already solved, yet something is tugging that heart of mine, and deaf-ly nagging my mind. I just don't understand what though.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

... that he choose me...

Chade, I know the Fool is strange. But I like it when he comes to talk to me. He speaks in riddles, and he insults me, and makes fun of me, and gives himself leave to tell me things he thinks I should do, like wash my hair, or not wear yellow. But (...) I like him. He mocks me, but from him, it seems a kindness. He makes me feel, well, important. That he could choose me to talk to.
 I can't get this out of my head.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Sanctuary from the Wretched

Have you ever loath a place, only to find out how much you miss it? I don't mean a change of heart, or a realization.
I mean how something can be both loathsome and comfortable.

Maybe I'm mad. Maybe I'm sick at heart.

But there's a place that I long to go, but I will never be able to return to.
There's also a place that I hate to return to. I hate it to the point that it gave me migraine just by the thought of it but it's also the one place I will return to or think about when all other bad things happen.

Monday, December 16, 2013


So my fever.. have lasted for a week. How utterly disturbing.
I'm so sad I can't even cry about it.
I have more energy today though. Not today, I mean now.