Often I hear arguments among my cliques about how fast people move on, or about how slow some people are at moving on, or how the heart can only be attached to one, or the fickleness of liking more than one person.
I used to wonder how can someone fall so easily, get hurt, and falls in love again. Do they absolutely need a guy in their life that they can't live without one? Are they not tired of heartbreaks after heartbreaks? When will it ever occur to them that enough is enough?
Now God tests me the same.
I am not in a relationship, mind you. Nor do I want to. I have something I want to achieve in the future, and no man I've met so far ever seem to fit in the picture.
Doesn't make me cold though, no matter how much I wish. I fall easily. I know the difference between fangirling and falling, and when I learn of it, it breaks my heart. I knew it's not going to be, and after so much hard work at getting over who I fell for now, I'd just fall for another again.
You might argue that it's not love. Heck, I argued. I kept thinking this is not it. This is mere attachment, or admiration or anything besides the L word. But it breaks my heart by a lot when I had to stay away, or knowing that not pursuing this means the other party will meet someone else, and that person won't ever be me.
Even then, I let my heart break over and over by falling for someone. Why?
I couldn't help it. My logic does not necessarily go with my heart. And the heart wants what it wants - no matter how absurd it is.
I just need to learn to deal with that.
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