Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Attachment

You know how I'm too deeply attached to stories I've read or watched? I especially love the kind of stories that resonates deep within. The kind that doesn't need overly handsome characters that would melt my heart to make me like 'em.

Most of the stories(novels) I've read have these sort of feeling. As for movies, nah, usually, the impression didn't last for even a day.
          I guess that's coz I choose my novel quite well^^, excuse me if I voluntarily praise myself. *laugh* . As for movies, the factors as to why I don't enjoy them much could be because:
  1. I don't watch movies that much.
  2. I usually don't care what movie was played.
  3. Normally, I just watched what others wanted to watch.
  4. They're just something for me to see, and forget the next day.
  5. I'm just curious why everyone seem to like them.
  6. The advertisement is a whole lot better than the real show.

So yeah, that concludes why movies doesn't leave a deep long lasting memory to me. Not all though. I still love all 3 of The Lord of The Rings movies.

          But anime and manga differs to me. I read/watched a variety of them ranging from different genres. Most anime I choose to watch were interesting and something I would say "great" after it ends. Funnily however, the ones I choose rarely leave me attached to it for months or years. The kind of anime that made a deep long lasting I-don't-know-how-to-explain feeling in me are usually the one recommended. By the most annoying, irritating and meddlesome of a sister. She's not really the first person to introduce the world of manga/anime to me but she's the one who made me realize the joy of watching 'em. Blergh, that sounds annoying.

          The recent anime that I watched that still lingers would be Seirei no Moribito (Guardian of the Sacred Spirit) and Kemono no Souja, Erin (Beastinarian Erin). Those were recommended by that certain annoying sister. The one from long ago would be Sailormoon(manga), though no one really recommend it to me, but it's thanks to Hime that I was able to read that. And there's Code Geass, recommended by Hime. Still love it so much that I rewatched it many many times . Not just love, it's that swirling feeling that always made me think. Or daydream. Haha. And there's a few more but I don't really want to mention all, right? It would take hours and hours or maybe days and weeks to list all of 'em down.

          So basically, why did I start talking about this? That would be due to Saiunkoku Monogatari. I first watched the anime when Animax was still a new channel on Astro. I think that was 6 years ago. At first, it was just a normal like. But then I found out it have a second season, and so I continued till the second season. I only remember bits of it at that time. But maybe 4 or 3 years ago, I rewatched it. DANG, my views completely changed! When I watched it as a kid, I probably don't understand it that much. Since then, I've been rewatching it every year. And since I borrowed the series from my aunt last year, I've been rewatching it every month!

           Siena said she lost interest in it because almost all the guys in the series fell for Shuurei. And I don't remember what else. Actually, I thought so at first too. But then, the first time I rewatched it was because I got that fan-girl disease for Seiran. Haha. The next time I watched it, I kinda' understood Ryuuki's point of view and since I changed my target to General Ran. But the next time I watched it, I kinda' empathize with more characters and find the series even more interesting, not to mention the pain Ryuuki felt seemed more and more real. That's why I couldn't stop. I've been rewatching the series countless of times and I still feel hopelessly dense about the characters. As for Ryuuki, the more I understand his character, the painful it gets. I wanted to sympathize with him but if I do so, won't it be an insult to his effort? This might sound crazy since it's just anime but I sincerely feel like that.

          Sometimes I wonder if I treat reality the way I treat those novels and anime. When I see people in pain, I would pray hard for them or support them from the background. It just didn't feel like me to meddle in their business. The worst is, if they are trying hard, I refuse to sympathize because I feel that it's an insult to their hard work. I wonder if my way of thinking is severely wrong. And if they're not, even when they've been given a push or more, then I wouldn't even care. In this life, you determine how you want to walk your path, right? So if these people are given encouragement, are helped in various ways and still doesn't change, or try their best to change, what other treatment should they receive?

          In the past, due to stupidity and such narrow views, I would sympathize with myself. But you know, sympathizing with yourself is the same as blaming others for your fate. Or blaming fate itself. However, in doing so, you're just being pathetic. I forgot from which anime I heard this, 
"If you hate your fate, change it!" 
Allah gave us trials so we could overcome them, right? I'm not going to say that I've overcome my hurdle in life. Heck, there's plenty I haven't. I don't even have the confidence to say that I won't give up. I might will.

          However, as long as I live, I want to fall back to my own effort, my own hard work. If I fail, that's because I didn't give much effort in it. If I succeed, then maybe my way of doing things was right all along. If the going gets tough, and I feel like giving up, I would remember Kyoko and want to try my best to simply knock down the wall obstucting my path instead of looking for another way out.

          I'm not sure if you understand me but I am thankful to Allah because my experience have made me someone who could empathize well. I have no room for sympathy and I might and have been told I'm cold and harsh for that. Sometimes those words are true, I won't deny it. I'm not such a soft, kind girl in the first place. The least I have is the pride that if I ever did or will help someone, it's not due to sympathy. They just deserve the help, that's all there is to it.

Ehehe, so that all for now. Thanks for reading.

p/s : I actually just wanted to talk
about Ryuuki but I wonder
how it got dragged on.
 Hehe.

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