Well anyway, something quite touching happened.
Not the biggest of matter, not anything big and important, but something sweet.
It's like eating red-bean pau which someone had put some hazelnut inside. And it caught you by surprise, and you'll end up smiling.
That sort of sweet and touching thing. Haha.
Well, coming to this university, I met quite a lot of character. Some I wished I never knew of, some I have always knew, some I'm fond of, some I would stay away from and etc.
Yet one unexpected meeting, last semester, that seemed nothing much when it happened made me so happy it happened now^^
Who would have known that through Beras I would meet someone thoroughly enjoyable, annoying and irritating, laughable, sarcastic yet so very sweet.
I won't thank him for it though :P haha.
So this friend of mine, basically, like most others is a female. Who cares if my friends consist of females? I don't get guys after all~ Even though looking at them is a daily thing, they're still pretty much alien to me.
She was the sort that would insist on doing something, yet wouldn't do it simply because she changed her mind. Then get depressed over things that until now I don't know what about, yet wouldn't bring her friend down with her.
I might sound like someone mean here, but I honestly respect someone who doesn't drag others down with them. I am concern, but as we aren't the best of buddies - or to put in exact words, there are others she could rely on more that she could on me - so, I wouldn't push the issue. So with this sort of personality, I really do feel grateful Allah S.W.T for sending her to be my friend as I would have been irritable all the time if I have some peers around me that drags me down.
I tried not to let her down in exchange. Yet even while trying, I know I did. She wouldn't be such a dear and lied good things for me, and for that, I'm even more grateful. I'm no masochist but I prefer to be scolded if I got things wrong, or if someone doesn't like how I do things. I might not change, but at least this sort of people are usually the least vengeful and I would have like to have them around me.
She would, either directly or sarcasticly, made it clear to me that I annoy her or did something she's not so keen about.
This would either made us argue, which I honestly hate, cause she somehow had such a tongue that made her won almost all arguments. I would like to stress on the word "almost". I'm sure she didn't win all of it, but I can't really recall which one did I win. But I'm sure I did win something!
So anyway, what got me so touched?
I've been a lone wolf since I left that childhood hometown of mine. I liked it that way. However, through the passing years, I grew fond of having a company or two (i.e: Hime, Sasha & NaO). They come and go, but during difficult times they stayed. I guess I would never forget them for that.
But this friend of mine (I ought to give her a name, right? .... Sonnet - don't ask why :P ), I mean Sonnet were with me when I was feeling good right? I never expected anything of her. I lived contently all these times because I don't expect anything anyway.
I was usually the one who leave others behind. Yet even while I'm being nonchalant about it, Sonnet would apologize for not keeping me company, would always be the first to invite me to join her for class etc. Not all things and these basic things might sound pretty normal to you but to me, I'm so used to doing these normal stuff alone so for me, it was weird when she asked. I said "okay" anyway. I'm not so mean as to push someone away without a reason.
Then there was the time when I was fasting, and she purposely not invite me to go with her to someplace because it was far and doesn't want me, who's fasting to be tired.
That, was the first spark.
Then - even though this didn't happen, but the thought counts - she planned on going back to pick me up because she were considering me who was fasting. Even if this is the simplest act of decency, I feel very much on this.
So that, was the second spark.
Then that very night, we stopped by the cafe after class. And I bumped into another friend and was engrossed in talking to her. I felt bad since I have left Sonnet out in the process. I was usually the one left out, so I'm not very keen on others feeling, you see.
Yet even when I did that, as she excused herself, she asked me if it's alright if she go upstairs first. If she had left without a word, it wouldn't be her fault at all. Yet she asked. And when I said okay. She asked if it's really okay, because she's basically leaving me.
I was very shocked.
Very,
very
very surprised!
How bad have I gone socially that I wouldn't mind being left out? Why did I consider it as a norm? Sonnet question might be something natural for her. To me, it's like having a traveler finally came to stop by my stall which were in some deserted place no one would pass by. Yet this traveler, did out of his norm which is just to leave, and asked if it's alright if she leave me.
I'm used to go everywhere by myself.
It felt very natural to be on my own.
Never did I hear anyone asked before they left someone alone.
I mean asking to be of company to someone is something common. Asking to leave someone? Was she concern if I felt lonely? I wouldn't know. I was never asked if it was okay to be left behind. Not by my sisters, my brother, my parents, or my friends before. To me, if they leave, then just deal with it, don't whine, don't call them back. This way, my heart would be able to endure it, to preserver.
I meant to say this to Sonnet herself, but when I see her myself, I just couldn't get it out of my mouth. Since she's going to read this sooner or later, I'll just say it here:
Thank you.
I'm glad our path crossed.
If you have left before, I wouldn't have mind.
However, now, please don't ever leave.
If even this ties severs, I wouldn't know what would my mind would concludes on things.
Again, thank you, very very much.
Haha, don't laugh. This comes from the bottom of the heart. Ok, now I feel my own shivers. I'm so not gonna ever repeat these words again.
Really, I'm thankful to Allah S.W.T for gifting me great comrades to move on with the life I have right now.
So that's that.
Bye guys. Until next time!
I change my mind. She's a grown person. You don't drag a grownup to go be with you always.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess she can go when she feels like :P