Silver Airship

I want to see you once again.

#nowplaying supercell - Gin'iro Hikousen

          Recently, I've been talking to Amo-sama a lot. I don't really have a single word that could describe him but Amo-sama always say that he's heartless. I wonder what those usual shoujo manga character would do.. They'd definitely go all "Ah, no.. there must be a reason. I must save this lonely person" or something like that. Honestly, if that happened to me, I'll say "Back off. I'm not so pitiful that you need to save!"
Ok, yes. I have something against those girls. That's why I prefer characters like Haruhi (OHSHC) or Shizuku (TnK).

The odd part here though.. is that I'm jealous.
           I'm jealous at Amo-sama for being able to be heartless. I know, I know. It's bad and stuff. That might be what you think. Also, no one need to remind me the fact that Huninis said I'm heartless once upon a time. Here's the thing though: I know I'm not. Despite what people say, I know I'm not. And that's what made it hurt so much.

I'm still hoping that something could change. I'm still hoping that someone would be thrilled to welcome me with wide open arms. I'm still that little kid who's trapped in that woods, that waited hours for people to notice that I'm missing. Although no one did. But I still hoped. Even if I tell myself countless of times that there's no point in doing that, when nothing ever gonna change. Not now, not while I'm here, not while I'm with them. The truth that the idiot part of me cannot throw away is that I'm still that girl who wrote that "Home" essay, imagining what it'll be like if it truly happens.

Maybe that's why I can't tell Amo-sama to stop saying that he's heartless. In truth, I hated that hope.

         If I've never been in the warm cozy homes of my neighbours, maybe I wouldn't know how it felt like to be loved. And if that didn't happen, I wouldn't be wanting it now. I wouldn't be looking at others and think of why I don't have it. I wouldn't be wishing for it thus would not have to feel that I lost it.

The silver airship flew

The sea is the only thing that doesn't change.

It's annoying that right now I'm crazily hoping that Elle would come.

When I finished climbing this hill

You were always over there, yawning

Waiting for me

 That's even more creepy, right? I should have at least long for a human. The rest seems impossible though.
          I'm not into Prince Charming. No matter how much the wizard's gonna help, I don't want Prince Charming. He's less charming ever since Shrek came out. Of course, there is no possible way that I'm gonna share Shrek with Fiona.
I certainly don't have any dwarves  that would gladly welcome me.

But this time, I'll climb that hill alone

And I'll wait for you

The only thing I have is my brain. That constantly argue with myself on almost everything. It's okay though, since it made things possible for me. It once made Elle possible. It could... maybe do it again. So maybe my silver airship might not crash. It'll fly, and I could still wait.

Or maybe one day it'll crash.
And I will finally be like Amo-sama.

*OHSC - Ouran High School Host Club

*TnK - Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun