After Happy

I guess I wasn't truthful when I said I slept well these days. I can sleep well, that's true enough. I don't want to.

I've been feeling quite happy lately. It's a nice feeling. It's addictive. I never want it to end. And I fear sleeping would end it. What if the next day will not be as nice?

The Breaking of a Mended Wall

When he feels frustrated, I feel sad. My unreliable hands, unable to be offered.

This pandemic is affecting everyone. I suppose that's how it would go. If it doesn't affect the masses of the world, it wouldn't be a concerning pandemic.

The Night Beggar

I'm sick and tired of life.

I'm sick and tired of trying.

But I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and try again. There's a tiny voice inside of me that begs for everything to end. In what form, I dare not entertain.

Living like this is something I'm working towards. To be able to function day to day. And I am making progress.

Yet my nights are filled with thoughts of regrets for trying. It's strange to hate trying when I can see the good results. Perhaps I resent the result. It comes back in a cycle, I can never stop.

Such is life.

And I'm tired of it. It is tired of it. And it keeps on begging and begging and begging for me to stop.

I am wise enough to know that it's wrong. I'm not sure I am strong enough to contain it from bursting out.

Nothing Ever Is

I had to take my shots today. Aripiprazole. The hospital was packed with patients today that by the time I got to buy my medications, I can't get the shot since the clinic was closing. So I have to bring my meds to the clinic tomorrow to get the shot.

Truthfully, that's not what I'm here to talk about.