No, I was feeling my worst. The headache had gotten so super bad I felt like it's better if I wasn't born with a head. Literally! My solution : Sleep and forget all the pain.
However, that Huninis didn't want anyone to go and ask her why did I not go to school. Heck, she was all, "I had nothing to do with your head." and "Quit pretending!!"
Hence, even though my whole body felt uncoordinated and deserves to be in the grave for once [though logically, once it's in, it won't be back - unless i'm a zombie; if that exist], I still went.
But things just can't be if your eyes aren't functioning and you hands can't even hold your pen properly. And whatever teacher teach are like hissing to the ear. Yeah, in short, my senses were impaired for the day. Predicted.
So, I just last for 30 minutes in History class in which I just found out today that we were actually learning about World War 2. After that 30 mins, I was sent to the sick-room. Normally school have this so called nurse room or something right? Well, my small school doesn't - and anyway, we call it the sick-room. For those who cannot attend to class, and are supposed to be pick up by their guardian to go back home. In my case, I went 'cause I can't attend class,even if I did, I'd just be some pitiful pathetic kid who's stupid enough to come to school KNOWING that I'm terribly unhealthy.
And to the teacher, I'm a bother to the class if I'm sick. [which until now my father can't seem to believe me - always saying that teachers are concerned]
So that super early in the morning, I was sent to the sick room. Not that I have any objection anyway. My brain is about to explode and I wouldn't want to look pathetic trying to withstand the pain in front of my classmates. So, I choose a corner where I can crouch a bit and sit there [ on the kind of chair grannies love to sit on ] with my hand on the ever-striking-stabbing-exploding-painful head. I really really very very much not want to go to school on that day but well, as long as she's my legal guardian, I can't say anything about it, right?
But this post is not typed to express how hateful and spiteful my feelings on that day or how many sins have I accumulated by cursing a certain someone thousand of times.
No, this is posted because I was being treated unexpectedly kindly by someone I never thought would ever do.
Well, about the first hour in the sick-room, the counsellor came in and saw me and immediately recognise me. Not to brag, but I was one of the "expected to get straight A's" student, so yeah, of course she knows me. I hope that she would keep quiet because it's frustrating to force myself to listen when my senses aren't even working well.
And bla-bla-bla, usual stuff, get better, aim A, and bla-bla again, it made me sick. I felt worse actually. Annoying, but she's the counsellor. Her work is to talk. Maybe. Haixx~
But soon, the-newly-appointed Principal who was the ex-head teacher showed up. Suddenly too. And I thought, what a bAAaaD timing! And much to my plan of sitting in the corner and be unnoticed, she noticed me in an instance. Huuuh~
But that's when my senses seems to be working a bit. Umm, cause I can see her face clearly. ANd though my head still stab-pierce-sting-strike-explode, I could actually hear a bit of their conversation. "that girl.... ah,... five... so early..??" well, that's all I heard. But I conclude it to be "What is that girl doing here? Ah, she's the 5 SC 1 student that Zamzam* mentioned... She's sick? So early??"
Well, then I don't know what they were talking about cause' I feel like fainting already.
By the time I realize it, the counsellor was out of sight. However, the principal was standing there beside me. I was shocked, but I still had my pride. My current face must be a nightmare to look upon, so I hid it with my hand. Part-part. Part of the hand function was to help me withstand the pain, part of it is to hide my face. The principal said nothing to this. Now that I think of it, maybe that was kinda' rude. Refusing to look at the person who's OBVIOUSLY looking at you.
Anyway, she suddenly spoke.
"Do you want to go home?"
Duh, I was practically kicked out, not really but near to that~ haah.. So I said, "no, I'll go back to class later".
Of course she's not a fool to believe that. Anyone care enough to look would realize that the pain would not go away in just a few hours. Well, at least that's what the doctor said on the last visit. She said it would at least take a whole day to ease the pain, that is, if I have enough rest.
And anyway, the principal just stare. It was like that for a few minutes. Very awkward, super awkward. That's the principal! Why can't she leave me alone, I thought.
But then, again, she broke the silence.
"I had migraine actually. And mine was terrible too. Once it attack, it would last for the whole week. Usually, for 4 days. If I'm lucky enough, 1 day. That's rare too."
And I thought, really?? So? Where is this conversation leading us to?
I did not, predictably, voice it out.
She continued, "But you see, your teachers want you to go to school, your parents want you to go to school, you want to go to school, am I not right?"
Truth is, my teachers don't care - I think so strongly so - as long as I would get A on their papers and not to ever fail. My parents, which one? Mom just didn't want to be blame for all the illness, and this was told from her mouth, "I don't want to answer to your father each time he ask why you're not going to school". Gah, to her, I'm probably a living burden. About myself,... yeah I kinda' do want to go... maybe..
Even so, when the principal said this, unlike many other teacher who obviously ask just for the sake of filling in the attendance, she said it with concern. At least, if my head wasn't playing a trick on me, I detect the concern in her voice. For once, maybe there exist teachers who cares, I thought.
And then she went on about how she's coping with it, gave me a few suggestion, and then told me to get a lot of rest. Don't overwork and etc. And she said, if I could pull it out, then it will be possible for me to achieve what I want.
She have not once, not once mention the As, the exams and all the things she constantly remind all her students for the whole 5 years I know her. Even if it's just my ears and head playing a trick on me, even if I'm just dreaming or fantasizing, those words at that moment truly lifted all the pain. And it made me slightly happy. And I'm grateful for that slight happiness^^.
It's fine if I was wrong, is that's a dream, if that's a lie, I was just happy.
But for the rest of the day, the pain return and I felt like the world turn upside down again.
Even so, I still feel unrest
*Zamzam - a teachers name
got my postcard already?
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