Is Blood thicker?

           It was kinda' a weird week. First, I never expected that Hime will read this blog of mine but it seems like she did. And BAM! She asked me about it. Maybe because I mention NaO. I doubt it though. Well, I don't really want to tell her actually, sorry Hime if you're reading this. I know, though you said it's nothing, that you have things on your mind too. And it's not like I'm hiding this from you because you are hiding things from me. Hey, everyone is allowed to have secrets~ It's just that I want you to settle your own problem first. Since I'm unreliable and unable to help pretty much everything, so I wouldn't want to cause you more worry. So DON'T ask me anything, please~

          Second, it seems like Sienna also read this. It's not like I didn't expect that. I did purposely linked this to my other account so that "someone" would read. But I guess that person, though many times I have been hinting of my blog, even updating it in front of her, that person doesn't care much about what I do as long as I'm under her control. Maybe puppet is another term for it. Personally, I don't think puppet fits the situation. How do you put it? That person wants be seen not heard. Yeah, that may fits it. She wants me to be visible and always there, but she cares not of what my say in it. Can't blame her much for it, since she had her hands full with her dear apple of the eye. One that she attentively, unfailingly always want to know, to understand more about. Not that I or my sisters worth much. Maybe.

          That's not the point~ Why am I typing rubbish? I meant to say that I didn't expect Sienna not getting mad at me~ Seriously. I thought she's going to give me one long speech which might have A BIG possibility of not being heard by myself, about whatever I typed here. Instead, all she said was not to make it public~ I meant the linking it to my other account where "that person" might saw. I wish! She should see it! She should be curious enough to click the link! Ah, but she didn't. Whatever, it's not like I care anymore. I wonder if I'm not home, if I'm living far away, it would be better for both of us. It should work. We should be having an unbreakable bond. Yet, in this case, this bond had developed into something else. So maybe, if I'm away, I might want to see her instead of not wanting to look in her face and fake a laugh and smile everyday. Literally everyday. Or maybe she might miss me even for a bit, even if it's just for the sake of the undone chores like how she did with Sienna and Tazia. Just a bit, I wish she would not think of how useless or "goblok" I was.

          I've been retreating to my room every single day, only coming out to see grandfather and grandmother. Or when grandmother told me to eat. There's not much fun in staying out of the room. It doesn't matter to me if Huninis going to shout at me for locking myself in my room all day, or that I'm getting fat etc. It really doesn't. Because even if I do get out of the room, Huninis will still shout at me for the things that I did not do, I do, I haven't do and that I have done. Who cares anymore~

          At this point, I wonder who Huninis really is to me.