The songs I'm listening tonight as Grandma watch Horror Movies

【Hatsune Miku】STEP TO YOU

【Megurine Luka】 Perfectionist Complex

Hello, Worker 【PVつけてみた】Megurine Luka

Grandma and I

The day started with sunshine^^.
Heck, I wake up early so I know!

          It was an only me and grandma day^^. Mom and Ien's not here. So, I decided to do something good without being ask to. Thus, the minute I woke up, I said, "I'll fold the clothes today, ok?" Hmm, the most common and natural thing a grandmother does when her grandchild offer to do good should be something like "Why, aren't you a good kid? I'm so lucky to have a granddaughter like you are, sweetheart"

Yeah, right. Face R-E-A-L-I-T-Y. My grandma? Here's what she said:

"OOOOO~ What are you dreaming about? GET UP!! Don't think saying that would make me be all sweet to you today. Get UP!! You're a grown child and you still have to be waken up by your grandmother?? There's a lot to do today. Aish, wipe that grin off your face!"

           Oh, luckily my heart not that fragile so I can withstand shouting in the morning. But see??!! Kind old grandmother only exist in fairytale. Hehe, however...... CUTE and ADORABLE grandmother is my reality. Well, ummmm and a bit fashionable and high-tempered too.. hehe *//*

Why, you wonder?

Here's what she said before getting out of the room that morning:

"Umm, .... but maybe (she turn away, and didn't look me in the eyes) maybe you could just fold the clothes today.."

And I grinned. But then...

"Get up!! I meant ALL the clothes that had been piling up!!"

           Well, clothes are piling up, that is the matter-o-fact. The point is, ain't she adorable when she acted that way?? No wonder my late grandfather was always, I mean it, ALWAYS jealous whenever my grandma talk to guys. Well, I meant adult wrinkled old men. Hey, don't take it to the heart, old men out there. I'm still so very young so it's only natural that I have this sort of thinking. My late grandfather was always wary whenever my grandma went to tend her garden. After all, who knows what sort of passerby will talk to her, right? My grandma is so pretty that even in her 70's my late grandfather just had to be jealous. XXXD

          Thus, the day proceed. I fold that piled up clothes while my grandma did the cooking. Well, I'm just a normal easily distracted teenager so while folding clothes I played Golden Age, and tweeted and I watch some anime. It's yaoi. But I probably won't watch it anymore. I know some guys out there that are like that so I don't really go "euu" when I watch it. After all, I was the one who wanted to try and watch it. However, I'm a girl who have crushes on guys, have throbbing heart for Matsumoto Jun when he acted as Domyouji, and goes all "KYAA!! KYAA!!" + blushes when Ace, Nagihiko, Kazehaya, [once upon a time; Sasuke], Zoro, Sabo, Nenjiro, Fuwa, and Kamui showed up on the screen or appeared in manga. Basically, I tend to fall for such guys.

          YET, how come those yaoi guys are so handsome, charismatic and sweet? (Some of them are the bad-boy type though) Worse, the little stars in me sparked!! So, I said, "I should stop. Liking some anime character is problem enough. Now I want to fall for guys who don't see girl in their life?!!!" Really, it's troublesome. I pray I would NEVER EVER fall for that sort of guy. I don't know the feeling but I had a great big hunch that I will get even more hurt if the guy I love like someone else who's also a guy? Heh. Heh. It's just my over-pride+ego, I guess. Losing to a girl is okay, maybe but losing to a guy??!! Hmm.... that might be difficult. To men out there, if you were to like a girl, wouldn't you be disappointed if she were to like another she? It's like, you don't even have the delight/chance to dream.

          That's how I felt. Usually after watching certain anime, I'll be dreaming if I was in the story maybe this and that would happen between me and that certain shonen. But! Imagine if I'm in that yaoi anime, wouldn't it be depressing to even like him? He probably won't even notice me... And I can't even dream of having him for myself.. coz it's just gonna be weird, right? I have to be a guy if I want him to like me. Oh, how sad life would be....  Anyway, what am I crapping??!!

          So after that, I tweeted : It's my first time watching such anime... it's a bit weird..
Duh, of course I would find it weird right? I don't understand and I doubt I would.  And do be reminded that I am folding the piled-up clothes while doing all that.

          And after a while, I went and watch Kaseifu no Mita since Sienna-neechan recommended it to me. It's really interesting.. Though, the content is kinda' deep.. I can't watch it full coz I have to stop and ponder. Hence, I've only watched two episodes so far.

          Then Sienna-nee went and called. She CALLED. Not even to say such nice things to me >,>. She went and said go help grandma and bla-bla. Blergh, XP!! I'm not that good of a kid, but I don't just sit and relax, okay? I DO WORK!! I just don't go out and feel Mr Sun much nowadays~ I know, it's a disrespectful act to nature since it's already there for me yet I stayed inside and didn't take the advantage of such fine weather. But while getting annoyed, she did something that triggered laughter. I don't remember what but after I put down the phone I got irritated again. Why? Because I forgot how annoyed I am so easily. It shouldn't be like that! I should get annoyed with her until she ask me sweetly, "Oh, did I say something wrong?" But no! I laughed! Why???? I shouldn't have laughed. I couldn't get back to that annoyed state after I laughed. Why I wanted to be annoyed? Hehe, that's one smart question with a silly answer. *//* I just wanted to say that my eldest sis is annoying and wanted to act like a spoilt child once a while. Haixx.. Now I couldn't say it anymore...

          Hehe, but the very very very very VERY VERY good news and what made my fierce old grandmother so cute adorable.. Hehe.. Today, she cooked "Kurma". Why?? Do wonder, coz I'm getting so excited. Because I like "Kurma" dishes!!!!!
But then Sienna-neechan ruined the good mood by asking for Lamb Kurma. Grr...
Oh well, whatever.. I was the one who asked what she want to eat when she come home anyway^^ ehehe

Well, I guess that would be all for now~

I've just realized that I've been making some obvious spelling and grammar mistake in the last few post. Oh well, let's just leave it that way, ok? "Mistakes are experience", right? HAHAHAHAHA

~I'm just to lazy to edit it again haha~

**********

It's okay to screw up. Those mistakes are experiences that would help you to improve and become better. 

- Hotaru -

(Shugo Chara Party)

p/s : It's raining now

Hello/How Are You - Hatsune Miku「English Sub」

【Nico Nico Chorus】 Servant of Evil 【Classical Chorus Version】【8 People'...

SPM's OVER!!!!!!!!

To all whose last exam is Accounts, HURRAY for us! Our SPM examination are officially[?] over.
     Blah, blah, blah~ Is Exam all I wanted to say? NO!
Haha, I'm so happy, my fingers aren't focused to the keyboard.. hahaha!! BUT, my heart missed blogging and I'm definitely gonna blog today.
So please bear with my craps~ Haha..

**********

          First of all, (am I making a speech?- haha) I would like to thank faz01 and cupiecake for becoming one of my loyal subjects. MUAHAHAHAHA, I meant thanks for following me^^

          Secondly, my pageview have reached 9907!!!! Hurray, hurray!!! That's only 94 more to 10000.. Cool~

**********

So, so,..
I have just came back from my class party/ farewell party / end-of -exam celebration~ I dressed up pretty nicely^^ but I'm NOT gonna post my picture, LOL. Curious? Don't be, haha~ I probably just gave myself too much credit, haha~

          And so, the class party was,... um um~ fun^^ I didn't expect it too~ They planned a lot of games in which I won most of what I play at - that's the bit of boring part - but I had soo much laughs so it's really fun^^ Huhu..  Sasha was the only one who sang but whatever~ It's a nice and meaningful song even if most of my classmates (opps, they're "ex-classmates" now, right?) was practically busy dancing and getting autograph form everyone else, not realizing that she's dedicating the song to everyone.

         But, I love the song. And I like the fact that Sasha actually dedicate that for us^^ It's a love song, and I don't plan on telling you the tittle, haha! But for us to dedicate to, it became a very deep friendship song. Well, I'm probably biased to praising her coz of what she wrote of me in the school magazine..
Hehe, I'll tell you in the next post. Too lazy to recap everything. But it was sweet. And I thank her for that^^.

          And I had to bring home one box of that swirling potato fries because there's too much extra. Well, it's delicious and all, but to bring a box home just to feed 4 little mouth..... well, let's just see what my grandma would say to-morrow morning as she wakes up.

          The best part of it, everyone praised me on how I looked tonight^^ Hey, what's wrong with a girl being happy for this? It's not like I went overhead. And it's not like I always dress up. So once in a while, of course I would also love to be pretty^^ hehe *//* now I'm embarrased.

There's many more I want to say but... my Eden Eternal is waiting, and tomorrow I'm gonna continue with Trickster^^ of should I just play DD Tank again? But I haven't play Zodiac and Destiny for a long time too... Hmm............

Oh, well, whatever works~ Tomorrow is tomorrow...

Don't think too much of uncertainty of tomorrow. 

Live today.

(by Adefuwa-haha!!)

And now, I'm gonna play Eden Eternal...
I have Traffic Law Test (?) on the weekends.. Hehe, I'm taking my driving license^^ So excited!!!
          Either way, now is adiue coz I'm gonna play some games^^ JA!!

Getting There, dear SPM

Let's see...

          I've decided to halt all online activities until my SPM is over. That would mean that this would be the last post for the month and I will only continue after SPM which would be umm... in after 2 months plus (?).

---

          As it is now, [I've receive several test papers] my trial results are very disappointing. Even to myself [!]. That's why, the alarm in me had rung and I really need to brush myself up for the upcoming exam. I don't want to regret it later.

          Since I've decided that, the moment you see this blog is updated [unless it stated - Yatta!! Exam's over in December], I've broken my own oath. Very despicable, no? 

There are quite a few things I wanted to post since I'll be holding myself back for the next two months (tee hee - 2 months IS really very very long for me).

1. Please, anyone who could translate BRIGHT - 1年2ヶ月20日, please help me do a PROPER translation!!
2. I'm still gonna be active on Twitter so.... to those who I follow : [this is a very selfish request] could you tweet things that could lift up fighting spirit?
3. About the dramas I'm planning to download,... hmm.. [ONLY if my standard grade rises SUPERBly] I might download it on holidays (might, might!! hopefully I could stand NOT TO)

How come I have a lot of things on my mind before I start typing and now all of it seems to fly away??

Oh, oh, and after SPM, I  thought... maybe.. since I like watching anime and dramas and reading manga soo much, maybe I should create a blog to summarize all that I watched/read??

I mean like detailed summary.

I know the feeling of not being able to watch something at that time, yet we wanted to know the latest of what happen so... [of course it'll be full of spoilers] but it's for those who really can't stand not knowing, right?? kiki, that's just what I think I want to do....

          For now, I'm gonna strugle with all I might and [pray] all will end well~

As for the rest,..

I've already forgotten what I wanted to say..

So,.. 

This is goodbye,

I guess.

Hope whatever One Piece updates that I'll be missing will be great so that I have MANY chapters to read with great pleasure.

Hope I have enough money to buy MS Gundam Seed and MS Gundam Seed Destiny ORIGINAL Set (DVD only) by the end of the year.

Hopefully Ojakgyo Brothers turn to be a worthwhile drama^^.

Hopefully I could buy the two album I've been longing for a while now~

Hopefully I could really get extraordinary and exceptional results for SPM.

Hope I have time to help NaO download Giseang something drama..

Hopefully I [magically] get a set of T-shirts consisting of all One Piece characters (that would be super cool)

Hopefully I won't be depressed thorough these demanding(for me) times.

Hopefully I won't faint in exam hall again.

Hopefully they released Ouran High School Host Club DVD (drama) by the end of the year - together with the english subs - so I could buy it^^

Hopefully EVERYTHING went as planned and I don't stray from my own promises.

Buh bye

currently listening to :

Masquerade Mask

I've been helping out my youngest sis to make a mask recently~ I mean it, very recently..
She have to use it tonight^^

So these are the products^^ :
(the purple one is made by Ien and I make the gold mask)

Ien is planning to wear the one she made~ The purple one for her dinner tonight~

Either way, what do you think? Is it good??? I know it looked a bit crumpled since it's our first time making these masks~

Taylor Swift - Back to December

"Solemn"

          Am I serious? I meant as a person. I don't think I am. I might not have been too cheerful lately, that I know.

But that Elle-like girl... [it's about time I give her a name = Emmie; let's just go with that]

     On the second day of my trial exam... (I think it was on the second) she passed by my table and saw my ID. And she was so excited at first, thinking about a comment she ought to give. But then her expression gradually dropped. She stared at my picture and said,... "Hey Adefuwa, you look solemn".
I just smiled at that moment since I don't quite know the meaning of "solemn" but I guess she picked up expression pretty fast.

  So Emmie asked me, "You do know what that means right?"
Now here's one kind of annoying question people tend to ask, that is, including me. That kind of question implies that you realize that someone doesn't know and yet you still have to ask.
It might not be at all annoying if I hadn't guessed that "solemn" probably doesn't have a very good meaning.
 
        So, [dejectedly] I replied a "no". She became a bit nervous but "get on with it!" was the only thing I thought of. So she told me that it means serious, but sad. Or something like that.

Would you like it if someone told you that? No, I wouldn't. But she was just being honest and it's not like she mean any harm. I know she didn't, at the very least. So I simply said, "Oh, I never knew~" and shrugged the whole thing off.

          Now, I know Emmie's a smart girl. Heck, she is! A lot! [I'm pretty much jealous too]. But I can't possibly accept that sort of comment, I thought. But the truth is, I have accepted that. When she said I looked solemn, I thought of how that word sounds so right (part of the reason why I smiled). However, I don't like to think I'm like that the very least~ haha.

The most funny part is (at least to me it is)... although I said I don't like it, what bothers me isn't the fact that she said I looked solemn. It's the meaning of that word. It's like I couldn't believe what she said was the real meaning of that word.
So with this dilemma, I went and search for the meaning in Oxford Dictionary..
And here's what I got:

1. formal and dignified
2. not cheerful; serious
3. deeply sincere

I was hoping she was wrong.
Maybe that's the real dilemma.
After all, it's not like Emmie and I are close enough that she actually thought of that. And even if I am like that now, I can't believe that I was like that 5 years ago. (That picture was from five years ago)....

"Things" started happening to me after that picture is taken. I remember the dates well. So I can't be like how she described me, right?
I think I was pretty cheerful back in those years^^ Very, except when Sasuke and Naruto was fighting when Sasuke left the village.... haha^^ (Those are really precious memories)

But someone ask me before (though not directly) , "So are you a serious person?"
            Blergh, what's that supposed to mean? I said I don't know. Haha~ I just didn't feel like answering him at that time.
And many times too,.. I've heard some people talking and they describe me as someone serious. I doubt I am.

Define serious for me then! I checked on the word and I still doubt I am. It didn't really bugged me though. I just want to know which part of me is viewed as serious. Could it be that I don't joke? Hmm... that too isn't very true~

(((!!!@@@^^@@@!!!)))

For now, I'm content and happy because tomorrow I don't have class^^ But I still need to study for Account exam on Thursday~

YOSH!!!!!

BM tomorrow

As the title mentioned, I'll be having my trial BM paper tomorrow~
It's good that I have just gotten healthy and well again a few hours ago.. huhu

I have been on a fever for 4 days (?)..

But I'm still so-very-scared because my KOMSAS [Malay Literature] sucks!! And my Malay Grammar too T^T... what do I do????

          Still, while I'm waiting for my cousin BM paper to be e-mailed to me [she's not from the same state I am, so she's having her paper early - NOT TO WORRY, I don't cheat], I stole some time for blogging^^ ehehe *//*

          If I I wanted to say was about my exam, then aren't my life dull? Exam, exam, exam..... huuuh~ where's the fun in reading a blog if that's all it said, eh? I think so too... So, that is NOT the reason why I'm blogging right now~ huhu

          You see, I went to NaO's house this evening, just for the sake of fetching my dad's "muruku" [a type of snack]. Now here's another side-story before I go into the main one.

     During Raya Aidilfitri [the first day - I think], I invited my friend AND her family to come. Well, since I mentioned NaO, you could've guessed that it was her. And so she came...she stayed for a long time actually^^ I felt just a little bit guilty because I'm keeping her from her family when the first day are supposed to be spent with your family. And so, her family came later on when all my distant family had dissapeared to their respective home~ haha, I like that"dissapeared"..

           Here's the best part: I have known her mom for quite some time so I must admit I don't mind being shameless in asking for food to be cook -for me^^. Well, I'm her daughter's friend after all. Haha, who cares??Right? NaO, if you're reading this, don't be mad^^... But the thing is,.. that day was my dad and her mom first, FIRST  meeting and he shamelessly ask for "muruku". He ASK for it. It's not like she said, "If you like it, I could make it".. No, no, no~ he ask for it!!

Well, I'm not mad cause' he ask for it~ I'm basically sulking 'cause he got it.. >,> HE GOT WHAT HE ASKED!!! I haven't even gotten my "tosay"... T^T 

THAT's just the side-dish for the main menu^^

Now here's the main menu:

           My, my~ Sienna only visited NaO's home for like, a few hours last year (I think it was last year)... and her mom is praising her like she's an angel >,> behh!!! Okay, I got to admit, my eldest sister is kinda' sweet and kind... and humble (they praise her for this), but! people should really know not to praise someone in front of their sister.. haixxx,.. I'm not jealous, I just didn't really know how to respond.. Well, I didn't want to say, "Yes, my sister is very very kind and humble" to NaO's mother... No matter how kind she is, she's still the dinosaur sister I've known since childhood. The one with veto power T^T.

           And how can I said, "No, she's not like that~ She enforced her will on the younger siblings, and magically we follow without any objection.. maybe just a few grumbles.. And she was really mean, when I viewed her back as a child.."? There's no way I can say that!! That's so one-sided view~ ANd that would make me sound like a brat T^T And it's not like all of that is true >,> ahaha...

So yea, I ended up smiling and nodded.

          So get it Sienna-neechan?? When you come back here, you better come and see NaO's mother^^ 

I wonder if I would miss her more one day.... rather that this house I'm living in.. Of course I'll miss my dad^^

But all of it didn't matter^^

HAHAHAHAHA

I still got my own share of "muruku" in the end^^!!!

HAHAHAHA

I mean, our share of muruku...

But anyway, pray I do well in my trials 

~InsyaAllah~

Rain

Today, after the fact that I didn't sleep at all yesterday, I decided to be positive and try not to sleep in class.

         Surprisingly, it worked! I didn't sleep at all in class, and didn't even feel sleepy..

Now, what's to tell about that?
I'm the kind that would say, "Ahh~ it's raining... The great weather to sleep in"
So here's the thing, it was raining today. It wasn't heavy. Only drizzling. But it was a nice day to sleep, I'm pretty sure.

          But I was determine not to sleep and to be positive, so I did.
And while Sasha complaint, "God, we're having physics! Physics! Why did it have to rain??" , I thought, I didn't feel sleepy, thank you Allah^^..

          It was a nice breeze... Since my desk is right next to the door, some of the raindrops were melting in my papers. Not that I care much of it. It's JUST a few drops anyway. Instead, I was so happy to be happy on this rainy day^^.
But then, that feeling dwelled.
     I was so happy and it came.
          But I don't know how to describe that feeling I have as I watched the rain. It was a beautiful day although it wasn't sunny. Yet...

          So I turn around and asked Sasha,"What are you feeling right now.. I mean the rain and such??" Obviously, she stared curiously. But Sasha was used to me asking question out of the blue so she simply replied,"Sleepy, most people would feel gloomy.. There's no shine from the sun after all".
Hmmm, not quite what I'm feeling.

So later when recess came, I went to Hime, Chi and NaO and asked the same thing.
    "Happy!!,"said NaO,"I love rain!!"
Oh, ok... Not that I hate rain, but I wasn't happy precisely because of the rain, I was relieved and content that I felt happy because I wasn't sleepy due to the rain.
    "I want to sleep?" came Hime's reply.
Usually I do, but not today...
    "Sad, maybe....." said Chi. [At least, that's what I thought she said]
Sad..... not quite right either. But it caught me...

Sad,... sad... sad...
     What was there to be sad about?

So I kept thinking about this [except when my mind were so happy to be focused back on learning],
  and later that afternoon, a word struck me.

MELANCHOLY

deep and long lasting sadness / sad and depressed

It's stil sad though, for me to realize that I was actually feeling like that..

I wonder if I was actually feeling something else.

But it wasn't awe for the rain, sleepy because of the rain, or happy because of the rain..

     And it was definitely not just "sad"

Maybe it was that. But I wonder...

Is there any other emotion rain can trigger??

Find One Piece in the NEW WORLD

Haha~ don't be fooled by the title^^ kikiki

Hehe~ Thanks^^
There's no summer here but well,... it's just the same anyway^^
So,...
I'll take on the advice^^

BRIGHT - 1年2ヶ月20日 [1 year 2 months and 20 days]

[25.11.2015]
Wow it took me so long. Thanks Scary01 for pointing out my mistake.

[18.09.2013]

Updated translation. I did what I could. I'm still gonna continue trying to check if there's anything left to be fix.

But at least it's decent now :)

Lyrics: Yuuki Odagiri

Composer: Yuuki Odagiri

Lyrics & Translation:

BRIGHT

enjoying all of BRIGHT songs at the moment

BRIGHT - Sorairo

BRIGHT - One Summer Time

BRIGHT - Shining Butterfly [live]

BRIGHT - Feelin' You

Well, I've known this song since long ago.. and I FINALLY found the subs^^

New Clothes

Now that I think about it,...
my birthday presents consists of clothing~ haha, that's the first^^

This one is from Sienna^^ :]

I just realize that my editing sucks... oh well~

Tazia and Firann gave me something too but I'm too lazy to take a photo of it.. maybe when I'm not too lazy,.. I'll put it up~ huhu

Sunny Hill - Pray MV

I was scared at first until I actually understood...
This song is sad............

SPM Trial Timetable

.... for my state, at least..
here goes:

*the blacken space means I'm NOT taking the subjects....
*the peach coloured space are THE IMPORTANT subject I'm taking...

T^T I hope I'm ready......

"tee hee" = Sense of Urgency

Hmm... where do I start?

          Well, since exam is so too near, well, [2 weeks is pretty near....] our school decided to create a program where all the final year student grind their mind to think of only how to answer the exam papers.. It's already the second week since this so called Sense of Urgency program started.

Today was dedicated to Chemistry and Additional Mathematics...
          My weakest subject: Chemistry
          My favourite subject: Additional Mathematics (not that I'm that good at it)

          Anyway,  I just realized that Chemistry wasn't that hard... although realizing that doesn't make it easy. AND Add Math wasn't that super fun.. It still is fun, it's just NOT SUPER fun... and it's quite hard... and I though anything with numbers are super easy.
I guess I shouldn't underestimate the power of numbers that had been making many people gone mad regardless genius or not.

This rambling must have made you bored..... well it bore me too,... but somehow, I'm having fun studying~ I've known of its fun since long ago but haven't felt it for sooo many years.
Well, I'm glad I do have fun now. At least it's [hopefully] not too late.

          I have had the weirdest dream in this past few days. It was queer... not that I haven't had anything like it before... it's just that it's been coming back MORE frequently than ever.....
Is this some sort of sign?

I have been getting peaceful sleep nowadays~ I guess ignoring everything around you ease up a bit of your tension. Attention: this is NOT a good way to overcome your problem, so don't follow my lead! Though it's not the very best way to handle things, I'm not the very best human too. So let me do it my pace, ok?

          HOWEVER, despite my oh-so-fantasy about having the most peaceful night ever, one cannot deny that I DO occasionally still have sleepless night... I worry a lot about it at first.
That is until...
      Yesterday(?).. some anonymous girl (sorry girl, I really don't know you) stood in front at the assembly in school and gave out and article about "sleep". I don't really remember all of it since my head were focused on "I don't wanna stand here"... But along her lines, I remembered my sleeping problems and thought... It's nothing much~ afterall, occasional sleep problem occurs to everyone~

So practically, I 'm feeling pretty good^^ if you minus all the stack of things I ignored~ huhu....

Like I said, don't judge me just coz I don't handle things well..

Sorry, that wasn't phrase well,...

Judge me if you wish,

Scold me if you must,

Like me if do not hate, 

and

Accompany me along the way, 

because it's neccessary.

That's a pretty ugly rhyme..

and it didn't feel quite right too...

whatever~

I've looked through some universities I thought of going but... hmm....

Oh, and by the way~ Sienna gave Ien and myself new clothes^^ and shoes~ pretty cool right? It's for our birthday... hehe
Arigatou^^

Well then, goodnight~ It's pretty late here~

Supercell - Watashi He

supercell [`11 Today Is A Beautiful Day] 13 私へ

Powered by mp3skull.com

------O.O------

HARO- konnichiha hisashiburi
watashi ha ima nani wo shiteimasuka
genki nara ii kedo
tokoro de ano toki no kimochi ha
wasureru koto ga dekita deshou ka
ima ha mada muri desu

Hello, good day, it’s been a while.
What am I doing right now?
It’ll be great if I’m fine.
By the way, those feelings from back then…
was I able to forget about them?
Right now, it’s impossible…

itsu no hi ka motto toshi wo tottara
wakaru hi ga kuru no deshou ka

One day, if the years go by,
will I be able to understand?

hontou ni kore de yokatta no kana
tama ni omou koto ga aru kedo
sonna koto ha iwanai de okou
datte watashi ha shitteru kara
jibun no monogatari wo

Was this really for the best?
I sometimes think about that,
but I’m better off not voicing it…
that’s because I know
my own story.

------O.O------ 

credits to : Deciphered Melody

Miwa - Change

Halo Patissier-kun^^

I have a dream....

          The faces are all very vague though... well, it's pretty embarrassing~ hehe.. I kinda have a "dreamy hallucination" of my future self..

          I don't know why, but in my dream,.. I'm married to a patissier. Well, I did tell my friends some time ago that I wish my husband would be a cook who own his own restaurant, if possible. But those are just hopes and rambles... Partly, it's because I don't fancy cooking so much... but I DO KNOW HOW TO COOK!!! and I'm pretty good at it. I don't mean to brag though~ *//*

          Well anyway, it seems like I was quite happy in that dream *//*... And I actually took part in house chores too... without anyone forcing me to clean up~
Well there's a lot more in that dream but it's too embarrassing to tell. heh.heh...

But still, I never thought I would hallucinate marrying a patissier~ coz well,... I'm not sooooo into pastries except cookies, you see? I don't even like sweet stuff that much..
          But it was a happy dream anyway... so I don't hate it^^

Well, I hope it WAS a dream. If it's a dream (one where I'm sleeping in reality), then it might be - at least I could believe it to be - a vision of the future or at least hope that it'll come true~ That kind of happy family....

But it wasn't a dream.. It's just me.. hallucinating too much since I had such a high fever on that day... I couldn't sleep but I had to lie in bed the whole day so I started to hallucinate..... I guess desire is a scary thing..

But I wonder if any patissier out there wouldn't mind liking a girl who doesn't like to eat so much of sweet stuff.. I really prefer bitter things..
     Or maybe, in the future, I might change?? Heh. heh. I'm getting all embarrassed just typing this *//*

The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya: God Knows

This take me back to those times......

One Piece Opening 14 - Fight Together

by Namie Amuro

Not Very Normal

Today, the day resume like it normally is.
     Except the fact that it's the month of Ramadan, so the other Muslim students and I are fasting.

          Well, I thought nothing could go wrong.. (as long as I'm at school, that is) You see, I'm starting to pick up most things that I've missed. And my pace and slowly catching up with everyone else.
Nothing did go wrong,... at least~ not academically...
   Nothing about the school, the studies, NOTHING of sort did go wrong~
I had a bit of a headache, but it was slight and bearable, so that does not consider as a problem.

However, the usual Tata, which I've never mention before....
      Tata is my classmate, annoying, fun, but annoying, and still fun, and her hobby is to make everyone annoyed when she's bored. Well, why she's considered fun? She disturbed everyone when they're too tensed and when thing are boring and duh duh! That's why though she's annoying, she's still fun~ no one hates her or something.. Maybe.. Well, Sasha do.. because of something in the past, I guess~ Grudge don't go away easily, you know?

         So, this Tata, her favourite ways of disturbing me is including pushing me to the wall, and "try to mess" with my scarf. There's one time she was successful so I've become extra cautious around her for that.. Stupid Tata~
          Back to the topic... Tata tried again today. Normally, I would have successfully push her away. I mean it, EASILY, I would have pushed her away.... But that's the problem. The-seem-to-be normal day did not go very normal today.
When she came near, I instinctively put up my defense. But DOOONNN!!! The minute my senses detect her hands, my strength was drained away.

          Here's the difficult part: My guard was still up, so why did my strength pull away? She did not mess with my scarf though. I don't know if it was either she realize how shock I was at the situation or whether she herself is shocked because I couldn't push her back.

Because after sometime, she exclaim,"Hey!! When did you get so weak??!!"

And buuuzzzzzzzzzz~ the bell chime in my head. My strength is failing me? What happen??
          Tata just left and said, "Sorry, maybe it's because you're fasting~"
And my thought scream, WE played and fought like this every single week and duh! That includes last year Ramadan month too!!!! It's not the fasting~ I'm not the kind gets weak over half a day of no-food. And besides, I already have my "sahur" (something like breakfast but it must be before Subuh prayer)..

I don't know what's happening~
          It's not the first time, now that I reflect on it,.. there are many times when my hand let go of my own book because it suddenly don't have the strength to carry it. And I'm not talking about a pile of books. I'm talking about a single light book.

But either way,.. that is that~
I don't want to worry too much on it... T____T

Kalafina - Red Moon Live

2NE1 - Ugly

          The froggie-teacher said that my generation music was like "Hey, look at me! I'm the person with the biggest problem in the world!!"

          I don't want to say that it's not true. Because part of it might be true. I'm not soo into music that I realize all this anyway. But even if it's true, why is it wrong? Because it's a fact that these type of people wanted their voices to be heard. Even if it's strangers who heard them.

          I'm not saying that it's a good thing. It might be bad for all eternity, who knows? But then again, there's no telling what's good or bad in this world... So you might as well just scream "I'm BAAD!!! and I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE GOOD!!" Because those who said they're good aren't necessarily good. And how do we know that they're real if the hand that streches out was one with over-sympathy, resentment to the problem, and grossed-out by it?

Oh no, did I go back to pessimisism? And I thought I'd changed.

"Don't look at me, I hate this feeling right now.

I just want to hide somewhere, I want to run away.

This world is a lie."

Just how many out there had this deep in their thoughts.......

"Don't easily said that you understand me.

My ugly and crooked heart might resent you.

Don't force me to talk; I don't go well with you.

The cold fakeness in your patronizing looks suffocates me.

Don't come close to me. I don't want your interest."

.................................This is exactlly why it's hard to be saved......

          But either way, I think froggie-teacher meant the right thing, if we focused too much on our problems, we might never see the way out of it. AND we shouldn't expect that anyone would lend a helping hand. But if we really need to, just look at the most trivial things and be thankful for that. Don't ever think that we had it worst.

Those who shine so bright is not the most perfect being...

After all, even the sun lives in the dark dark galaxy.... And the effects of it rays brought shadows..Do you think it really is bright?

Now I'm thinking too much .. Haixx..

Let me just concentrate on whatever that matters.. 

Roads

That really moved me, I wonder why I always seemed to be lucky to stumble upon words like this when I need it... Oh well, let me just thank Allah for that^^. 

          Yosh!! Now back to studying!!!

Extract :

He was the sort of person who would never go astray, so I just left it to him.

....

My brother wasn't at all amazing.(I am actually better at it). He had unbelivable bad sense of direction.

He'd always looked like he was putting a great amount of effort into choosing the right road, but he'd always get it wrong anyway. We never once went straight to our goal.

....

But he definitely didn't go astray. No matter how many mistakes he made, he would always arrive in the end. That's what he would always insist. 

"If you don't give up on getting there, then you're not on the wrong road.Even if the place you arrive at isn't the one you were hoping for, just search out the next road from there. If you do that, you'll eventually arrive without fail."

If you worry about it, think about it, eventually pick a road, and walk down it. Then there's no way it isn't connected somehow to the place you're looking for.

Kurebayashi Teru,

Dengeki Daisy

House of Many Ways by Diana Wynne Jones

Summary

Charmain Baker has led a respectable, sheltered life. She has spent her days with her nose in a book, never learning how to do even the smallest household chores. When she suddenly ends up looking after the tiny cottage of her ill Great Uncle William she seems happy for the adventure, but the easy task of house-sitting is complicated by the fact that Great-Uncle William is also the Royal Wizard Norland and his magical house bends space and time.

Though she is supposed to clean up the mess Great-Uncle William has left the house in, Charmain knows next to nothing about magic, and yet she seems to work it in the most unexpected way. The house's single door can lead to almost any place - from other rooms like the kitchen, to faraway places, and even other time periods. In her first days in the magical house, she ends up looking after a magical stray dog named Waif, had an encounter with a horrible lubbock, a confused young apprentice wizard named Peter shows up, a box of the King's most treasured documents, and a clan of small blue creatures called Kobolds.

When Charmain is caught up in an intense royal search to remedy the kingdom's troubles, she encounters Sophie Pendragon, her son Morgan, a beautiful child named Twinkle (who is really Howlin disguise), and their fire demon Calcifer.

She is soon involved in curing the kingdom of its ills and restoring the long-lost Elfgift.

My Review:

          I was interested with the book beacause of Wizard Howl, predictably. When I first found out that the main character is another girl, I was disappointed. That shows just how silly I am.

In the midst of my head-aching studying, I thought I needed some light reading, so I choosed this book. I didn't thought it would be great!

          Charmain remind me of myself, well, just the lazy portion, a bit, and the fact that we both turn to books when anything happens. I wasn't 'respectable' enough to not know how to clean, wash and cook though.

Charmain character is well potrayed, in my opinion.

     I wanted to praise her more, but my mind is on Howl so let's just skip to that and you could go and read the story yourself to know more about this Charmain dear humorous and adventurous tale.

          I love how Howl disguise as Twinkle. It's just so funny^^. And Calcifer is such a dear. I wish I could say more about Sophie but I didn't read the first book. And it seems that the anime by Ghibli Studio is quite different from the novel. Whatever the case, I love the book-version of Sophie. She's fierce and sweet.

Oh, and I love this part:

"...And Wizard Howl at last handed Waif back to Charmain. He did it with such a dazzlingly apologetic smile that Charmain felt quite flustered.

             I like him better as a grown-up man, she thought. No wonder Sophie was so annoyed with Twinkle!..."

I wish Charmain know how my heart goes pitter patter all over Howl. Hoho. But either way, all of us Howl-fangirls lost to Sophie anyway... T^T so better go back to studying chemistry....

Ja!

Ano Hana

Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai

*highly recommended

Plot

A group of six childhood friends drift apart after one of them, Meiko "Menma" Honma, dies in an accident. Ten years after the incident, the leader of the group, Jinta Yadomi, has withdrawn from society and lives as a recluse. One summer day, an older looking Menma appears before him and asks to have a wish granted. However, she does not remember what it is. 

source:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ano_Hi_Mita_Hana_no_Namae_o_Bokutachi_wa_Mada_Shiranai

Click here to watch the story online.

I do not own the link.

My review

It's a wonderful story about friendship, in my opinion. How a person importance differ to each individual...

               For instance, when everyone decide to grant Menma's wishes, all 5 of them have different thoughts. Jinta never wanted to grant the wish because he didn't really want Menma to peacefully leave to heaven (according to the story). But he help and convince everyone because he love her and like seeing her smile. Anaru on the other hand wanted Menma to pass on because she wanted Menma to be out of Jinta's head so that Jinta would like her instead.Yukiatsu was irritated and frustrated because Jinta was the only one that could see Menma so he wanted Menma to quickly leave so that Jinta won't have that advantage anymore. Basically, he and Anaru was jealous. Because Yukiatsu and Anaru was in way had the same problem, they had an understanding. This causes Tsuruko to be jealous of Anaru. She wanted to help Menma so that Anaru would be together with Jinta, and thus creating chance between her and Yukiatsu. As for Poppo, he saw Menma died and the image won't leave his head. Especially since he watch her fell and drift without helping. So he thought that if Menma would be happy to leave for heaven, then he would be freed of the guilt (at least that's how I understand it).

               In the end they realize how selfish they had been the entire time.. and they reflect on it. And all this time, Menma only wishes for them to be happy, to be friends again. To be friends forever.

Either way, the ending was tear-jerking. I haven't felt that sad for any story for many years now...

     It felt good to cry.

Back on the track

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Accounts are hard. But they're super satisfiying once you get it right. Super. I mean it. It's really a head-ache to go through accounts but when you get it done and right, it make you feel like flying in the clouds and tremendously happy.
          That's why I'm glad I'm taking accounts and came to the class today.


To those who were concerned by my sudden 'run-away' from everyone.... hmm... how do I put it? I mean by the sudden silence I've been purposely... no.
To those whom I've been avoiding and kept silence in these few weeks,
          Thank you for your concern.


I'm not having problems actually. I just didn't want to talk about anything. There's something bugging me since ever, and I wanted to sort it out. I didn't want anyone's word to affect my decision so I decided to keep my mouth shut. That's all there is to it.

          It's been cleared out now. Again, no.. the problem have not been sorted out just yet. I don't think it will in the near future. It might take [high possibility] the rest of my life. And this thing is making me insane.
Well,... though that certain problem is not solved, and I don't want to be dragged on by it and unabling me to move forward,.. I decided to leave it aside.
     It is not the best solution.
But it's the only one I can think of for now.

          So anyway, my head is a lot clearer. I'm not going to let myself be strayed again. I have found what i wanted to do, though it's only a short-term plan. A plan is still a plan, so whatever.

I'm going to try my best to stick to it. I'm setting my priority right now. And for that, I'm not gonna bother with anything else.
So forgive me if I say "No" to everything.
     And remind me if I ever said "Yes" to something that might waver my determination.

I know myself well enough to know thatmy heart waver fast. Especially when it involves things that I like.

          It's not that I don't like the goal I'm setting. It's just that I don't see it yet. Well, I think that happens to a lot of us.That's why this time, I want to do it right.



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Let pray it turn out really well.....

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